That's Not Who I Am
[Vulnerability Coming Up]
This has been a rough past few weeks. I returned home from a most extraordinary month in Australia, and have been really unwell (some random lung infection that one gets when traveling on planes a lot). My husband is overseas for the next few weeks, and I have been unable to work or hang out with anyone because I've been so sick.
Due to the strange infection I have, my antibiotics are triple the normal cost of meds. When I went to Walmart to pick... up my prescription, I was publically shouted at by a very grumpy manager who showed no compassion for my inability to afford my much-needed medication. And I thought at this stage that I would absolutely LOSE IT. I was exhausted, feverish, jet-lagged and alone - at WALMART of all places - and all I wanted to do was melt down into a crying, heaping mess, and then shout back at this woman who apparently was having as bad a day as me.
And I nearly DID lose my cool....until I got a text message from a good friend at that very moment.
"Don't melt down," it said. "That'll make a big mess and THAT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE."
The part that stopped me dead in my tracks was this: "THAT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE."
Wow. I had forgotten who I was. So I took a deep breath, began to pray in the Spirit, prayed (silent) blessings over the manager, allowed the kindness and peace of Christ to ooze from me, and I told God it was HIS job to come through for me and I trusted Him. (And within a matter of minutes, someone unexpectedly paid for my medication and God did, indeed, show His faithfulness).
Sometimes in times when we feel like we DESERVE to have a temper tantrum, get rude, offended, angry .... it's hard to remember that's not REALLY who we are. We could be tired, sick, annoyed, lonely, sad, anxious about money (I was all-of-thee-above on this particular day), but when we know Jesus we are NOT just a normal, outraged human! We are born not of the flesh, but of the Spirit...born of God (John 1:12, 13).
We've been crucified with Christ (dead), and it is no longer us who lives but Jesus who lives IN us (Galatians 2:20), and as Jesus is, so are we in this world (1 John 4:17). We carry the peace of God and the atmosphere of Heaven within us. THAT is who we are. We don't have to stay in the valley of weeping when we have the power within to pass through it, and rely on Him to give us a "brook of blessing filled from the rain of an outpouring" (Psalm 84:6, TPT).
Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and it's in our DNA as new creations in Christ.
In all honesty though, some days, we just FORGET. That's where we can be there FOR EACH OTHER. I'm so grateful for my friend who reminded me to rise up in TRUTH instead of allowing me to lower myself to my experience. Grateful for all the many friends who have done that for me so many other times in life.
I pray that I can be that for others, constantly pulling gold out and helping others to see Jesus in themselves.